Chapter 30 Lữ angrily snapped the pencil he held in his hand. For several days now, Miriam hadn't spoken a single word to him. She looked at him with the cold indifference of a stranger, ate her meals alone, and went to sleep in a different room. It was as if Lữ no longer existed in this world—and as if she did not wish to be disturbed by his presence. Lữ began to feel irritated by Miriam’s attitude, yet he tried to maintain an air of indifference. The small house had become stifling, filled with an atmosphere as heavy as lead.
Lữ knew this situation could not go on forever—and Miriam knew it, too. The previous night, Lữ had deliberately stayed away, only unlocking the door and stepping inside near dawn. Miriam was sitting in the living room, waiting for him. Her face looked as sorrowful as it had on the day of Don Lavitz’s funeral. Lữ looked at her with pity. Was the end of love truly this desolate?
Miriam gazed at him for a moment, then lowered her head and spoke in a voice as soft as a passing breeze:
"I want us to file for divorce." Although he had anticipated this, Lữ was still slightly taken aback. He had expected Miriam to weep, to hurl insults, or to heap bitter reproaches upon him—not to react with such quiet yet resolute finality. Lữ nodded:
"Have you thought this through carefully?" Miriam still did not look up. She answered, very quickly:
"Yes." Lữ sat down in a chair, pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and took a drag. Since marrying Miriam, Lữ had never smoked inside the house, as she detested the smell of cigarette smoke. But today was different. Everything had begun to change. Miriam watched the smoke curling upward, and she understood the significance of that act. Her vision suddenly blurred. Was it the smoke, or was it Lữ’s actions? Perhaps it was both. Miriam spoke again, her voice beginning to catch in her throat:
"I’ve already spoken with Attorney Leibovitz. He will handle the paperwork. He said that if you have your own private attorney, he would speak with them." Lữ remained silent, lost in thought. Miriam had been deliberating this for days; it was not merely a momentary outburst of anger over the fact that Lữ had stayed out all night. He had expected Miriam to demand a divorce, and—truth be told—he even hoped she would be the one to say it. But what specific catalyst had finally compelled Miriam to make the decision right now?
Lữ had stayed out all night on numerous occasions. Nor did he make any further effort to conceal the cloying, heavy scent of Uyên’s perfume that clung to his clothes. Miriam had known of his infidelity for quite some time, yet she had remained silent. What, then, was the final drop that caused the cup to overflow? Lữ was curious, and he was determined to find out exactly what it was.
"Why do you assume I would agree to a divorce?" Miriam looked at him—her expression a blend of astonishment and the first stirrings of rage.
"How can you even say that? You’ve backed me into a corner, forcing me to act exactly as you wish—what more could you possibly want?" Her voice turned sharp and biting. Lữ knew she was about to reveal the specific incident that had driven her to the decision to divorce. He feigned ignorance, deliberately stoking Miriam’s anger.
"Why are you saying such outrageous things? What exactly have I done to warrant such harsh words?" Miriam could no longer maintain her composure. All the resolutions she had silently made to herself—regarding how she would handle things before Lữ returned—suddenly dissolved. She spoke, trembling with fury:
"Wasn't it *you* who sent these photographs?" Miriam hurled a stack of photos directly at Lữ. They were snapshots of Lữ and Uyên embracing in front of the Holiday Inn. Miriam had spent days agonizing over who could have sent those pictures. And she had finally arrived at a conclusion: Lữ himself had hired someone to take the photos and send them to her!
It was a brazen, blatant way of making sure she knew the truth—all so that she would be the one forced to ask for the divorce! She surmised that Lữ did not want to be the one to broach the subject of divorce first. And what better way to handle it than to let Miriam in on the truth and let her take matters into her own hands?
Lữ picked up a few photographs to examine, and his blood suddenly boiled. Someone was trying to sabotage him. A divorce from Miriam was an inevitability—something bound to happen sooner or later. But for an outside hand to meddle in the affair and orchestrate events specifically to harm him—that was a different matter entirely.
Lữ vowed to unmask the culprit, come what may. The person seeking his ruin would pay a steep price for such audacity. He would hunt down this enemy lurking in the shadows and eliminate them immediately. Lữ sensed danger drawing near; he realized he needed to be more vigilant than ever.
Lữ looked at Miriam. Her face was flushed crimson with rage. Her thick, dark eyebrows were knitted together in a furious frown. Lữ had always been partial to women with thick, bold eyebrows—a sign, in his eyes, of a robust and passionate nature—and he was suddenly struck by a sense of miscalculation. Neglecting Miriam—pushing her to the point where she herself demanded a divorce—had perhaps not been the wisest course of action. Worse still was the fact that an outside party had intervened.
Lữ shook his head—partly to himself, and partly in response to Miriam:
"No! I have no idea who took these photos or who sent them!" He continued speaking, as if afraid that either he or Miriam might suddenly have a change of heart:
"If you want a divorce, so be it. I’ll have someone speak with Leibovitz to handle the paperwork." Miriam burst into loud, audible sobs. Lữ watched as she turned her head away, trying to hide the tears streaming down her cheeks, and he felt a flicker of bewilderment. Could the dissolution of love truly be such a sorrowful thing? Yet, what must happen will happen; everything, eventually, comes to an end. He clicked his tongue in mild exasperation, then turned and headed upstairs to change his clothes.
° ° °
Lữ felt a strange duality—at once burdened and relieved. It was as if he harbored two distinct personalities within himself. He pitied Miriam, who sat slumped in the living room below, weeping in solitude, and he felt like a truly despicable wretch. He had used Miriam as a stepping stone for his own advancement, a means to amass wealth. Although Miriam’s assets were strictly her own—funds he had neither touched nor depleted—it was precisely by leveraging her standing that he had secured the bank loans necessary to launch his business and climb the social ladder.
She loved him with genuine sincerity—and it was this very fact that burdened Lữ with a sense of guilt and vexation. Lữ harbored no feelings that he could honestly label as "love." Whether toward Miriam or even toward Uyên, he felt nothing more than physical arousal and carnal desire—nothing else. And once the novelty had faded, leaving behind only tedium, why linger any longer? Miriam had entered his life merely as a passing phase—like a piece of forbidden fruit: a white woman—beautiful, alluring—yet one he had consumed to satiety, leaving behind nothing but the mundane familiarity of habit.
She had paved the way for his initial strides within this new society—a world where material success reigned supreme. He had now moved past that chapter of his life; why, then, should he remain entangled in hesitation or harbor regrets over the dissolution of a woman’s love—a love that had been misplaced and bestowed upon the wrong man?
Lữ stepped into the bathroom, his mind feeling as heavy as lead. The hot water cascading over his head and shoulders offered him a fleeting moment of relief. Why must people suffer so profoundly over love—much like Miriam, sitting alone in the darkness downstairs? What true significance did love hold, beyond a fleeting spark of attraction between two individuals drawn to one another physically, or perhaps sharing a common interest?
That was the extent of Lữ’s understanding of love; and inwardly, he continued to scoff at those who wept, grieved, and agonized over the wreckage of a broken romance. Lữ never understood, nor did he have any desire to find out. They were the spiritually weak, Lữ concluded—and he believed he was right.
Life invariably divided humanity into two camps: the strong and the weak, the successful and the failures, the oppressors and the downtrodden. Love, perhaps, was a trait reserved exclusively for the latter—it had no place for men like him. Why, then, did he continue to trouble himself over Miriam’s suffering?