Đặng Thùy Trâm's Diary
marcel 03.02.2008 23:02:25 (permalink)
" The most valuable property of a person is the life . In a life , people can just live once , so we have to live meaningfully so as not to feel deep regret of the time  we used to live uselessly , not to feel ashamed of the time we used to live uselessly . Till the time we leave this world , we can proudly say that :" in our whole life , our whole soul has devoted to the most beautiful cause in the world : the cause of strugg for the human liberation ."
                                                                                                                                             
N.A.OSTROTSKY 
 

" Life has to suffer from the storm , but never lower our heads before the storm"

       That was what Thuy Tram wrote at the first page , have you ever written something like that in your own diary ? I think her line is like the cliche but it itself was the motivation that helped our heroine to overcome difficulties of war .Quoting these lines , I do not want to tell you how I feel about Tram's soul , I just want to show and let yourself feel . However , she was an optimistic woman who had a sensitive heart but very consistent mind in the work . Above all , it was a vindictive hatred for the aggressors and traitors .
      I think I have to tell you briefly about Thuy Tram 's biography before you read the lines below: Tram was the elder sister in a family of 3 daughters . Her parents are both doctors so they were the intelligentsias. Thuy Tram was a Hanoiance but after graduating the medical university at the age of 22 , she went of her own record to work as a doctor in a far far away land called Duc Pho , Quang Tri . It was one of the most violent battles during the war .
        Here are some dates in her diary :

" 22.4.68
         Huong! Was Huong dead ? I was stunned by the thunder-like news as if I were in the nightmare . When will this anguish end ? Now a person lays down , tomorrow , one more is going to lay down . Bone and blood piled in heaps like a mountain of disgust against our eyes . When! When and when my dear fellows ? When can we drive the bloodthirsty predators from our country ?
          Now it ends, many nights confiding together in a whisper will not exist any more . The deep and sentimental  voice of Huong is now very clear in my ears . She praises and encourages me , extolling my faithful love . Now it ends , many times swimming together in the stream and together sharing a cup of sweetened porridge. I remember the day meeting Huong near the spring in Nghia Hanh , Huong huged me tighly in her arms , kissing my hair ,  my cheek and both of us had tears welling up.
          Looking at uncle Cong , who is still placid and has not known about that thunder-like news , I feel tormented as if someone salted my trauma . Loosing a daughter is much more painful than loosing one's  gut . Uncle ,please repress your tears if you know this news ! And Quang , the faithful man waiting for Huong for many years , will never achieve his dream . Your Huong will forever lie at rest in your native soil . "
         
"17.5.68
          The war is still going on , the death is still happening every day , every hour , every minute ,as easy as anything . Yesterday night , Thin and brother Son  were talking to me . Thin advised Le to buy material to make clothes , this night , they are just 2 bodies lying in the land of Duc Pho , where they had set foot in for the first time. Too easy to die , there is no way to beware of that loss. How sad !
           What Lien said is quite right : Behave toward people with the honest love so that we will not regret when our friend died that when he was still alive , we had not love , protect and help mutually . I myself did as she said. For a long time am I soulful with all of my friends , a generous  but very heartfelt affection . All of the patients in this hospital , in seriously ailing time , are treated by my sense of  responsibility , my intimate compassion . Even when they feel so strange , they will later have a strong attachment for me as a close doctor . They call me "Second Sister " , they call themselves my younger brother although they are older than me , they played with me and coddle themselves with me as well . Among these formidable days , I have found the happiness and consolation from them .
" 4.6.68
         The rain is still pouring down ceaselessly. The rain makes melancholy penetrate into the hearts of people. And the cold rain makes me extremely crave for the scene of gathering with family . I wish I had wings to fly back to my tiny house in Lo Duc street , to have a meal of vegetable with parents and sisters , and to lie curl up in the cosy quilted blanket and fell sound asleep. Yesterday , I dreamt about the restoration of peace , I came back to meet my relatives.Alas ! The dream of peace has been restless in the mind of 30 million of our compatriots for such a long time .For that peace and independence, we have sacrificed everything . Millions of people were willing to devote their whole lives to these 2words : independence and liberty . So was I , I also sacrifice my own life for that great cause ." 

" 8.10.68
         The sparkling sunshine at the beginning of  this autumn is inundating the whole forest . This sunshine of the beginning of this autumn along with the wind has my heart wrung with pain . Remember again , the very immense and deep remembrance is like the ocean bed embracing VietNam strip of land . I miss the gentle and private friend living in a small house at the end of Doi Can street,  miss the naughty girl with soft hair , miss a southerner brother who has sent me a letter to say good bye before setting off to study , miss another dear brother who has glistening eyes under long eyelash and miss so much a beloved person forever resting in peace on the coast of hometown.
        My country! When will this remembrance suside , when will this country be in peace ? I know that the victorious day won't be so far but why do I feel that happiness is still mighty distant . I don't know whether I can see that happy day . "Communists love their lives so much , but if necessary , they can also quietly die. " Die but still love the life , the life for which people have to pay a heavy price during 30 years : perspiration , tears , bone and blood."
<bài viết được chỉnh sửa lúc 04.02.2008 14:35:41 bởi marcel >
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