Alice in Wonderland
La Dameaux Camélias 21.09.2005 14:48:45 (permalink)
A Wonderland Micellany

Dear Children,

At Christmas-time a few grave words are not quite out of place, I hope, even at the end of a book of nonsense--and I want to take this opportunity of thanking the thousands of children who have read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, for the kindly interest they have taken in my little dream-child.

The thought of the many English firesides where happy faces have smiled her a welcome, and of the many English children to whom she has brought an hour of (I trust) innocent amusement, is one of the brightest and pleasantest thoughts of my life. I have a host of young friends already, whose names and faces I know--but I cannot help feeling as if, through `Alice's Adventures' I had made friends with any mmany other dear children, whose faces I shall never see.

To all my little friends, known and unknown, I wish with all my heart, `A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year'. May God bless you, dear children, and make each Christmas-tide, as it comes round to you, more bright and beautiful than the last--bright with the presence of that unseen Friend, who once on earth blessed little children--and beautiful with memories of a loving life, which has sought and found the truest kind of happiness, the only kind that is really worth the having, the happiness of making others happy too!

Your affectionate Friend,

LEWIS CARROLL

December 25, 1871


PREFACE TO ALICE'S ADVENTURES UNDER GROUND

`Who will Riddle me the How and the Why?'
So questions one of England's sweetest singers. The `How?' has already been told, after a fashion, in the verses prefixed to Alice in Wonderland; and some other memories of that happy summer day are set down, for those who care to see them, in this little book--the germ that was to grow into the published volume. But the `Why?' cannot, and need not, be put into words. Those for whom a child's mind is a sealed book, and who see no divinity in a child's smile, would read such words in vain: while for any one that has ever loved one true child, no words are needed. For he will have known the awe that falls on one in the presence of a spirit fresh from GOD's hands, on whom no shadow of sin, and but the outermost fringe of the shadow of sorrow, has yet fallen: he will have felt the bitter contrast between the haunting selfishness that spoils his best deeds and the life that is but an overflowing love--for I think a child's first attitude to the world is a simple love for all living things: and he will have learned that the best work a man can do is when he works for love's sake only, with no thought of name, or gain, or earthly reward. No deed of ours, I suppose, on this side the grave, is really unselfish: yet if one can put forth all one's powers in a task where nothing of reward is hoped for but a little child's whispered thanks, and the airy touch of a little child's pure lips, one seems to come somewhere near to this.

There was no idea of publication in my mind when I wrote this little book: that was wholly an afterthought, pressed on me by the `perhaps too partial friends' who always have to bear the blame when a writer rushes into print: and I can truly say that no praise of theirs has ever given me one hundredth part of the pleasure it has been to think of the sick children in hospitals (where it has been a delight to me to send copies) forgetting, for a few bright hours, their pain and weariness--perhaps thinking lovingly of the unknown writer of the tale--perhaps even putting up a childish prayer (and oh, how much it needs!) for one who can but dimly hope to stand, some day, not quite out of sight of those pure young faces, before the great white throne. `I am very sure,' writes a lady-visitor at a Home for Sick Children, `that there will be many loving earnest prayers for you on Easter morning from the children.'I would like to quote further from her letters, as embodying a suggestion that may perhaps thus come to the notice of some one able and willing to carry it out.

`I want you to send me one of your Easter Greetings for a very dear child who is dying at our Home. She is just fading away, and `Alice' had brightened some of the weary hours in her illness, and I know that letter would be such a delight to her--especially if you would put `Minnie' at the top, and she could know you had sent it for her. She knows you, and would so value it. . . . She suffers so much that I long for what I know would so please her.'

. . . `Thank you very much for sending me the letter, and for writing Minnie's name. . . . I am quite sure that all these children will say a loving prayer for the "Alice-man" on Easter Day: and I am sure the letter will help the little ones to the real Easter joy. How I do wish that you, who have won the hearts and confidence of so many children, would do for them what is so very near my heart, and yet what no one will do, viz. write a book for children about GOD and themselves, which is not goody, and which begins at the right end, about religion, to make them see what it really is. I get quite miserable very often over the children I come across: hardly any of them have an idea of really knowing that GOD loves them, or of loving and confiding in Him. They will love and trust me, and be sure that I want them to be happy, and will not let them suffer more than is necessary: but as for going to Him in the same way, they would never think of it. They are dreadfully afraid of Him, if they think of Him at all, which they generally only do when they have been naughty, and they look on all connected with Him as very grave and dull: and, when they are full of fun and thoroughly happy, I am sure they unconsciously hope He is not looking. I am sure I don't wonder they think of Him in this way, for people never talk of Him in connection with what makes their little lives the brightest. If they are naughty, people put on solemn faces, and say He is very angry or shocked, or something which frightens them: and, for the rest, He is talked about only in a way that makes them think of church and having to be quiet. As for being taught that all Joy and all Gladness and Brightness is his Joy--that He is wearying for them to be happy, and is not hard and stern, but always doing things to make their days brighter, and caring for them so tenderly, and wanting them to run to Him with all their little joys and sorrows, they are not taught that. I do so long to make them trust Him as they trust us, to feel that He will `take their part' as they do with us in their little woes, and to go to Him in their plays and enjoyments and not only when they say their prayers. I was quite grateful to one little dot, a short time ago, who said to his mother `when I am in bed, I put out my hand to see if I can feel JESUS and my angel. I thought perhaps in the dark they'd touch me, but they never have yet.' I do so want them to want to go to Him, and to feel how, if He is there, it must be happy.'

Let me add--for I feel I have drifted into far too serious a vein for a preface to a fairy-tale--the deliciously naive remark of a very dear child-friend, whom I asked, after an acquaintance of two or three days, if she had read `Alice' and the `Looking-Glass'. `Oh yes,' she replied readily, `I've read both of them! And I think' (this more slowly and thoughtfully) `I think "Through the Looking-Glass" is more stupid than "Alice's Adventures". Don't you think so?' But this was a question I felt it would be hardly discreet for me to enter upon.

LEWIS CARROLL December, 1886



AN EASTER GREETING TO
EVERY CHILD WHO LOVES `ALICE'.
Dear Child,

Please to fancy, if you can, that you are reading a real letter, from a real friend whom you have seen, and whose voice you can seem to yourself to hear wishing you, as I do now with all my heart, a happy Easter.

Do you know that delicious dreamy feeling when one first wakes on a summer morning, with the twitter of birds in the air, and the fresh breeze coming in at the open window--when, lying lazily with eyes half shut, one sees as in a dream green boughs waving, or waters rippling in a golden light? It is a pleasure very near to sadness, bringing tears to one's eyes like a beautiful picture or poem. And is not that a Mother's sweet voice that summons you to rise? To rise and forget, in the bright sunlight, the ugly dreams that frightened you so when all was dark--to rise and enjoy another happy day, first kneeling to thank that unseen Friend, who sends you the beautiful sun?

Are these strange words from a writer of such tales as `Alice'? And is this a strange letter to find in a book of nonsense? It may be so. Some perhaps may blame me for thus mixing together things grave and gay; others may smile and think it odd that any one should speak of solemn things at all, except in church and on a Sunday: but I think--nay, I am sure--that some children will read this gently and lovingly, and in the spirit in which I have written it.

For I do not believe God means us thus to divide life into two halves--to wear a grave face on Sunday, and to think it out-of-place to even so much as mention Him on a week-day. Do you think He cares to see only kneeling figures, and to hear only tones of prayer--and that He does not also love to see the lambs leaping in the sunlight, and to hear the merry voices of the children, as they roll among the hay? Surely their innocent laughter is as sweet in His ears as the grandest anthem that ever rolled up from the `dim religious light' of some solemn cathedral?

And if I have written anything to add to those stores of innocent and healthy amusement that are laid up in the books for the children I love so well, it is surely something I may hope to look back upon without shame and sorrow (as how much of life must then be recalled!) when my turn comes to walk through the valley of shadows.

This Easter sun will rise on you, dear child, feeling your `life in every limb', and eager to rush out into the fresh morning air--and many an Easter-day will come and go, before it finds you feeble and gray- headed, creeping wearily out to bask once more in the sunlight--but it is good, even now, to think sometimes of that great morning when the `Sun of Righteousness shall arise with healing in his wings.'

Surely your gladness need not be the less for the thought that you will one day see a brighter dawn than this--when lovelier sights will meet your eyes than any waving trees or rippling waters--when angel- hands shall undraw your curtains, and sweeter tones than every loving Mother breathed shall wake you to a new and glorious day--and when all the sadness, and the sin, that darkened life on this little earth, shall be forgotten like the dreams of a night that is past!

Your affectionate friend,
LEWIS CARROLL



A CHAPTER FROM

ALICE'S ADVENTURES UNDER GROUND
THEY were indeed a curious looking party that assembled on the bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them--all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. The first question of course was, how to get dry: they had a consultation about this, and Alice hardly felt at all surprised at finding herself talking familiarly with the birds, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say `I am older than you, and must know best,' and this Alice would not admit without knowing how old the Lory was, and as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was nothing more to be said.

At last the mouse, who seemed to have some authority among them, called out `sit down, all of you, and attend to me! I'll soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, shivering, in a large ring, Alice in the middle, with her eyes anxiously fixed on the mouse, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.

`Ahem!' said the mouse, with a self-important air, `are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please!
`William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--'

`Ugh!' said the Lory with a shiver.

`I beg your pardon?' said the mouse, frowning, but very politely, `did you speak?'

`Not I!' said the Lory hastily.

`I thought you did,' said the mouse, `I proceed. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct was at first moderate--how are you getting on now, dear?' said the mouse, turning to Alice as it spoke.

`As wet as ever,' said poor Alice, `it doesn't seem to dry me at all.'

`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to his feet, `I move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies--'

`Speak English!' said the Duck, `I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And the Duck quacked a comfortable laugh to itself. Some of the other birds tittered audibly.

`I only meant to say,' said the Dodo in a rather offended tone, `that I know of a house near here, where we could get the young lady and the rest of the party dried, and then we could listen comfortably to the story which I think you were good enough to promise to tell us,' bowing gravely to the mouse.

The mouse made no objection to this, and the whole party moved along the river bank, (for the pool had by this time begun to flow out of the hall, and the edge of it was fringed with rushes and forget-me- nots,) in a slow procession, the Dodo leading the way. After a time the Dodo became impatient, and, leaving the Duck to bring up the rest of the party, moved on at a quicker pace with Alice, the Lory, and the Eaglet, and soon brought them to a little cottage, and there they sat snugly by the fire, wrapped up in blankets, until the rest of the party had arrived, and they were all dry again.

Then they all sat down again in a large ring on the bank, and begged the mouse to begin his story.

`Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.

`It is a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at the mouse's tail, which was coiled nearly all round the party, `but why do you call it sad?' and she went on puzzling about this as the mouse went on speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like this:

"Fury said to a mouse, That he
met in the house, `Let us both go to
law: I will prosecute you. Come, I'll take no denial; We must have
a trial:
For really this morning I've nothing to do.' Said the mouse to the cur, `Such a trial,
dear Sir, With
no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath.' `I'll be judge, I'll be jury,'
Said cunning old Fury: `I'll try the
whole cause, and condemn you to death:"
`You are not attending!' said the mouse to Alice severely, `what are you thinking of?'

`I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly, `you had got to the fifth bend, I think?'

`I had not!' cried the mouse, sharply and very angrily.

`A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking anxiously about her, `oh, do let me help to undo it!'
`I shall do nothing of the sort!' said the mouse, getting up and walking away from the party, `you insult me by talking such nonsense!'

`I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice, `but you're so easily offended, you know.'

The mouse only growled in reply.

`Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it, and the others all joined in chorus `yes, please do!' but the mouse only shook its ears, and walked quickly away, and was soon out of sight.

`What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to its daughter `Ah, my dear! let this be a lesson to you never to lose your temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little snappishly, `you're enough to try the patience of an oyster!'

`I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing no one in particular, `she'd soon fetch it back!'

`And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the Lory.

Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet, `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice, you can't think! And oh! I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!'

This answer caused a remarkable sensation among the party; some of the birds hurried off at once; one old magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking `I really must be getting home: the night air does not suit my throat,' and a canary called out in a trembling voice to its children `come away from her, my dears, she's no fit company for you!' On various pretexts, they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.

She sat for some while sorrowful and silent, but she was not long before she recovered her spirits, and began talking to herself again as usual: `I do wish some of them had stayed a little longer! and I was getting to be such friends with them--really the Lory and I were almost like sisters! and so was that dear little Eaglet! And then the Duck and the Dodo! How nicely the Duck sang to us as we came along through the water: and if the Dodo hadn't known the way to that nice little cottage, I don't know when we should have got dry again--' and there is no knowing how long she might have prattled on in this way, if she had not suddenly caught the sound of pattering feet.

It was the white rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously about it as it went, as if it had lost something, and she heard it muttering to itself `the Marchioness! the Marchioness! oh my dear paws! oh my fur and whiskers! She'll have me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where can I have dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the nosegay and the pair of white kid gloves, and she began hunting for them, but they were now nowhere to be seen-- everything seemed to have changed since her swim in the pool, and her walk along the river-bank with its fringe of rushes and forget-me- nots, and the glass table and the little door had vanished.

Soon the rabbit noticed Alice, as she stood looking curiously about her, and at once said in a quick angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann! what are you doing out here? Go home this moment, and look on my dressing- table for my gloves and nosegay, and fetch them here, as quick as you can run, do you hear?' and Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once, without saying a word, in the direction which the rabbit had pointed out.

She soon found herself in front of a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name W. Rabbit, Esq. She went in, and hurried upstairs, for fear she should meet the real Mary Ann and be turned out of the house before she had found the gloves: she knew that one pair had been lost in the hall, `but of course,' thought Alice, `it has plenty more of them in its house. How queer it seems to be going messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of things that would happen. `Miss Alice! come here directly and get ready for your walk!' `Coming in a minute, nurse! but I've got to watch this mousehole till Dinah comes back, and see that the mouse doesn't get out--' `only I don't think,' Alice went on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house, if it began ordering people about like that!'

By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room, with a table in the window on which was a looking-glass and, (as Alice had hoped), two or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves. She took up a pair of gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass: there was no label on it this time with the words `drink me', but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips: `I know something interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, `whenever I eat or drink anything so I'll see what this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow larger, for I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'

It did so indeed, and much sooner than she expected; before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, and she stooped to save her neck from being broken, and hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself `that's quite enough--I hope I sha'n't grow any more--I wish I hadn't drunk so much!'

Alas! it was too late: she went on growing and growing, and very soon had to kneel down: in another minute there was not room even for this, and she tried the effect of lying down, with one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and as a last resource she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself `now I can do no more--what will become of me?'

p>Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and as there seemed to be no sort of chance of ever getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy. `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits--I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole, and yet, and yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that sort of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! and when I grow up I'll write one--but I'm grown up now' said she in a sorrowful tone, `at least there's no room to grow up any more here.'
`But then,' thought Alice, `shall I never get any older than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like that!'

`Oh, you foolish Alice!' she said again, `how can you learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for you, and no room at all for any lesson-books!'

And so she went on, taking first one side, and then the other, and making quite a conversation of it altogether, but after a few minutes she heard a voice outside, which made her stop to listen.

`Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice, `fetch me my gloves this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs: Alice knew it was the rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large as the rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it. Presently the rabbit came to the door, and tried to open it, but as it opened inwards and Alice's elbow was against it, the attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself `then I'll go round and get in at the window.'

`That you wo'n't!' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied she heard the rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall and a crash of breaking glass, from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame; or something of the sort.
Next came an angry voice--the rabbit's--`Pat, Pat! where are you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, `shure then I'm here! digging for apples, anyway, yer honour!'

`Digging for apples indeed!' said the rabbit angrily, `here, come and help me out of this!'--Sound of more breaking glass.

`Now, tell me, Pat, what is that coming out of the window?'

`Shure it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it "arrum".)

`An arm, you goose? Who ever saw an arm that size? Why, it fills the whole window, don't you see?'

`Shure, it does, yer honour, but it's an arm for all that.'

`Well, it's no business there: go and take it away!'

There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers now and then, such as `shure I don't like it, yer honour, at all at all!' `do as I tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her hand again and made another snatch in the air. This time there were two little shrieks, and more breaking glass--`what a number of cucumber-frames there must be!' thought Alice, `I wonder what they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the window I only wish they could! I'm sure I don't want to stop in here any longer!'

She waited for some time without hearing anything more. At last came a rumbling of little cart-wheels, and the sound of a good many voices all talking together: she made out the words `where's the other ladder?--why, I hadn't to bring but one, Bill's got the other--here, put 'em up at this corner--no, tie 'em together first--they don't reach high enough yet--oh, they'll do well enough, don't be particular--here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--will the roof bear?--mind that loose slate--oh, it's coming down! heads below!--' (a loud crash) `now, who did that?--it was Bill, I fancy--who's to go down the chimney?--nay, I sha'n't! you do it!--that I won't then--Bill's got to go down--here, Bill! the master says you've to go down the chimney!'

`Oh, so Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to herself, `why, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: he fireplace is a pretty tight one, but I think I can kick a little!'

She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess what sort it was) scratching and scrambling in the chimney close above her: then, saying to herself `this is Bill,' she gave one, sharp kick, and waited again to see what would happen next.

The first thing was a general chorus of `there goes Bill!' then the rabbit's voice alone `catch him, you by the hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices, `how was it, old fellow? what happened to you? tell us all about it.'

Last came a little feeble squeaking voice, (`that's Bill' thought Alice,) which said `well, I hardly know--I'm all of a fluster myself--something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and the next minute up I goes like a rocket!' `And so you did, old fellow!' said the other voices.

`We must burn the house down!' said the voice of the rabbit, and Alice called out as loud as she could, `if you do, I'll set Dinah at you!' This caused silence again, and while Alice was thinking `but how can I get Dinah here?' she found to her great delight that she was getting smaller: very soon she was able to get up out of the uncomfortable position in which she had been lying, and in two or three minutes more she was once more three inches high.

She ran out of the house as quick as she could, and found quite a crowd of little animals waiting outside-- guinea-pigs, white mice, squirrels, and `Bill' a little green lizard, that was being supported in the arms of one of the guinea-pigs, while another was giving it something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at her the moment she appeared, but Alice ran her hardest, and soon found herself in a thick wood.


`ALICE' ON THE STAGE

(The Theatre, April, 1887)
`LOOK here; here's all this Judy's clothes falling to pieces again.' Such were the pensive words of Mr Thomas Codlin; and they may fitly serve as a motto for a writer who has set himself the unusual task of passing in review a set of puppets that are virtually his own--the stage embodiments of his own dream- children.

Not that the play itself is in any sense mine. The arrangements, in dramatic form, of a story written without the slightest idea that it would be so adapted, was a task that demanded powers denied to me, but possessed in an eminent degree, so far as I can judge, by Mr Saville Clarke. I do not feel myself qualified to criticise his play, as a play; nor shall I venture on any criticism of the players as players.

What is it, then, I have set myself to do? And what possible claim have I to be heard? My answer must be that, as the writer of the two stories thus adapted, and the originator (as I believe, for at least I have not consciously borrowed them) of the `airy nothings' for which Mr Saville Clarke has so skilfully provided, if not a name, at least, a `local habitation', I may without boastfulness claim to have a special knowledge of what it was I meant them to be, and so a special understanding of how far that intention has been realised. And I fancied there might be some readers of The Theatre who would be interested in sharing that knowledge and that understanding.

Many a day had we rowed together on that quiet stream--the three little maidens and I--and many a fairy tale had been extemporised for their benefit--whether it were at times when the narrator was `i' the vein', and fancies unsought came crowding thick upon him, or at times when the jaded Muse was goaded into action, and plodded meekly on, more because she had to say something than that she had something to say--yet none of these many tales got written down: they lived and died, like summer midges, each in its own golden afternoon until there came a day when, as it chanced, one of my little listeners petitioned that the tale might be written out for her. That was many a year ago, but I distinctly remember, now as I write, how, in a desperate attempt to strike out some new line of fairy-lore, I had sent my heroine straight down a rabbit-hole, to begin with, without the least idea what was to happen afterwards. And so, to please a child I loved (I don't remember any other motive), I printed in manuscript, and illustrated with my own crude designs--designs that rebelled against every law of Anatomy or Art (for I had never had a lesson in drawing)--the book which I have just had published in facsimile. In writing it out, I added many fresh ideas, which seemed to grow of themselves upon the original stock; and many more added themselves when, years afterwards, I wrote it all over again for publication: but (this may interest some readers of `Alice' to know) every such idea and nearly every word of the dialogue, came of itself. Sometimes an idea comes at night, when I have had to get up and strike a light to note it down--sometimes when out on a lonely winter walk, when I have had to `stop, and with half-frozen fingers jot down a few words which should keep the new-born idea from perishing--but whenever or however it comes, it comes of itself. I cannot set invention going like a clock, by any voluntary winding up: nor do I believe that any original writing (and what other writing is worth preserving?) was ever so produced. If you sit down, unimpassioned and uninspired, and tell yourself to write for so many hours, you will merely produce (at least I am sure I should merely produce) some of that article which fills, so far as I can judge, two- thirds of most magazines--most easy to write most weary to read--men call it `padding', and it is to my mind one of the most detestable things in modern literature. `Alice' and the `Looking-Glass' are made up almost wholly of bits and scraps, single ideas which came of themselves. Poor they may have been; but at least they were the best I had to offer: and I can desire no higher praise to be written of me than the words of a Poet, written of a Poet,--


`He gave the people of his best:
The worst he kept, the best he gave.'
I have wandered from my subject, I know: yet grant me another minute to relate a little incident of my own experience. I was walking on a hill-side, alone, one bright summer day, when suddenly there came into my head one line of verse--one solitary line--`For the Snark was a Boojum, you see.' I knew not what it meant, then: I know not what it means now; but I wrote it down: and, some time afterwards, the rest of the stanza occurred to me, that being its last line: and so by degrees, at odd moments during the next year or two, the rest of the poem pieced itself together, that being its last stanza. And since then, periodically, I have received courteous letters from strangers, begging to know whether `The Hunting of the Snark' is an allegory, or contains some hidden moral, or is a political satire: and for all such questions I have but one answer, `I don't know!' And now I return to my text, and will wander no more.

Stand forth, then, from the shadowy past, `Alice' the child of my dreams. Full many a year has slipped away, since that `golden afternoon' that gave thee birth but I can call it up almost as clearly as if it were yesterday--the cloudless blue above, the watery mirror below, the boat drifting idly on its way, the tinkle of the drops that fell from the oars, as they waved so sleepily to and fro, and (the one bright gleam of life in all the slumberous scene) the three eager faces, hungry for news of fairy-land, and who would not be said `nay' to: from whose lips `Tell us a story, please', had all the stern immutability of Fate!

What wert thou, dream-Alice, in thy foster-father's eyes? How shall he picture thee? Loving, first, loving and gentle: loving as a dog (forgive the prosaic simile, but I know no earthly love so pure and perfect), and gentle as a fawn: then courteous--courteous to all, high or low, grand or grotesque, King or Caterpillar, even as though she were herself a King's daughter, and her clothing of wrought gold: then trustful, ready to accept the wildest impossibilities with all that utter trust that only dreamers know; and lastly, curious-- wildly curious, and with the eager enjoyment of Life that comes only in the happy hours of childhood, when all is new and fair, and when Sin and Sorrow are but names--empty words signifying nothing!

And the White Rabbit, what of him? Was he framed on the `Alice' lines, or meant as a contrast? As a contrast, distinctly. For her `youth', `audacity', `vigour', and `swift directness of purpose', read `elderly', `timid', `feeble', and `nervously shilly-shallying', and you will get something of what I meant him to be. I think the White Rabbit should wear spectacles. I am sure his voice should quaver, and his knees quiver, and his whole air suggest a total inability to say `Bo' to a goose!

But I cannot hope to be allowed, even by the courteous Editor of The Theatre, half the space I should need (even if my reader's patience would hold out) to discuss each of my puppets one by one. Let me cull from the two books a Royal Trio--the Queen of Hearts, the Red Queen, and the White Queen. It was certainly hard on my Muse, to expect her to sing of three Queens, within such brief compass, and yet to give to each her own individuality. Each, of course, had to preserve, through all her eccentricities, a certain queenly dignity. That was essential. And for distinguishing traits, I pictured to myself the Queen of Hearts as a sort of embodiment of ungovernable passion--a blind and aimless Fury. The Red Queen must be cold and calm; she must be formal and strict, yet not unkindly; pedantic to the tenth degree, the concentrated essence of all governesses! Lastly, the White Queen seemed, to my dreaming fancy, gentle, stupid, fat and pale; helpless as an infant; and with a slow, maundering, bewildered air about her just suggesting imbecility, but never quite passing into it; that would be, I think, fatal to any comic effect she might otherwise produce. There is a character strangely like her in Wilkie Collins's novel `No Name': by two different converging paths we have somehow reached the same ideal, and Mrs Wragg and the White Queen might have been twin-sisters.

As it is no part of my present purpose to find fault with any of those who have striven so zealously to make this `dream-play' a waking success, I shall but name two or three who seemed to me specially successful in realising the characters of the story.

None, I think, was better realised than the two undertaken by Mr Sydney Harcourt, `the Hatter' and `Tweedledum'. To see him enact the Hatter was a weird and uncanny thing, as though some grotesque monster, seen last night in a dream, should walk into the room in broad daylight, and quietly say `Good morning!' I need not try to describe what I mean the Hatter to be, since, so far as I can now remember, it was exactly what Mr Harcourt had made him: and I may say nearly the same of Tweedledum: but the Hatter surprised me most--perhaps only because it came first in the play.

There were others who realised my ideas nearly as well; but I am not attempting a complete review: I will conclude with a few words about the two children who played `Alice' and `the Dormouse'.

Of Miss Phoebe Carlo's performance it would be difficult to speak too highly. As a mere effort of memory, it was surely a marvellous feat for so young a child, to learn no less than two hundred and fifteen speeches-- nearly three times as many as Beatrice in `Much Ado About Nothing'. But what I admired most, as realising most nearly my ideal heroine, was her perfect assumption of the high spirits, and readiness to enjoy everything, of a child out for a holiday. I doubt if any grown actress, however experienced, could have worn this air so perfectly; we look before and after, and sigh for what is not; a child never does this; and it is only a child that can utter from her heart the words poor Margaret Fuller Ossoli so longed to make her own, `I am all happy now!'

And last (I may for once omit the time-honoured addition `not least', for surely no tinier maiden ever yet achieved so genuine a theatrical success?) comes our dainty Dormouse. `Dainty' is the only epithet that seems to me exactly to suit her: with her beaming baby-face, the delicious crispness of her speech, and the perfect realism with which she makes herself the embodied essence of Sleep, she is surely the daintiest Dormouse that ever yet told us `I sleep when I breathe!' With the first words of that her opening speech, a sudden silence falls upon the house (at least it has been so every time I have been there), and the baby tones sound strangely clear in the stillness. And yet I doubt if the charm is due only to the incisive clearness of her articulation; to me there was an even greater charm in the utter self-abandonment and conscientious thoroughness of her acting. If Dorothy ever adopts a motto, it ought to be `thorough'. I hope the time may soon come when she will have a better part than `Dormouse' to play--when some enterprising manager will revive the `Midsummer Night's Dream' and do his obvious duty to the public by securing Miss Dorothy d'Alcourt as `Puck'!

It would be well indeed for our churches if some of the clergy could take a lesson in enunciation from this little child; and better still, for `our noble selves', if we would lay to heart some things that she could teach us, and would learn by her example to realise, rather more than we do, the spirit of a maxim I once came across in an old book, `Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.'


AN ANSWER TO THE WHITE QUEEN'S RIDDLE
THE following verses were first published in the magazine Fun on 30 October, 1878. It is not known who wrote them, but they were shown to Lewis Carroll in 1872 in an earlier form which he altered and improved into the version which was finally printed.


First pull up the fish,
It can't swim away: for a fish this is funny!
Next 'tis bought; and I wish
That a penny was always its adequate money.

Make it ready to eat--
Fetching pepper and vinegar won't take a minute.
Dish with cover complete,
Of lovely shell china, already 'tis in it.


Now 'tis time we should sup.
What's one only, you dolt? Set a score on the table!
Take the dish cover up --
With mere finger and thumb you will never be able.

Get an oyster-knife strong,
Insert it 'twixt cover and dish in the middle;
Then you shall before long
Un-dish-cover the Oysters -- dishcover the riddle!


STANZA OF ANGLO-SAXON POETRY

'Twas bryllyg, and ye slythy toves
Did gyre and gymble in ye wabe:
All mimsy were ye borogoves;
And ye mome raths outgrabe.
This curious fragment reads thus in modern characters:


'Twas bryllyg, and the slythy toves
Did gyre and gymble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves;
And the mome raths outgrabe.

The meanings of the words are as follows:

Bryllyg (derived from the verb to bryl or broil). `The time of broiling dinner, i.e. the close of the afternoon'.
Slythy (compounded of slimy and lithe). `Smooth and active'.
Tove. A species of Badger. They had smooth white hair, long hind legs, and short horns like a stag. Lived chiefly on cheese.
Gyre. Verb (derived from gyaour or giaour, `a dog') `to scratch like a dog'.
Gymble (whence gimblet) to screw out holes in anything.
Wabe (derived from the verb to swab or soak) `the side of hill' (from its being soaked by the rain).
Mimsy (whence mimserable and miserable) `unhappy'.
Borogove. An extinct kind of Parrot. They had no wings, beaks turned up, and made their nests under sun-dials; lived on veal.
Mome (hence solemome, solemone, and solemn) `grave'.


Rath. A species of land turtle. Head erect, mouth like a shark, the front fore legs curved out so that the animal walked on its knees; smooth green body; lived on swallows and oysters.
Outgrabe -- past tense of the verb to outgribe (it is connected with the old verb to grike or shrike, from which are derived `shriek' and `creak') `squeaked'.

Hence the literal English of the passage is --

`It was evening, and the smooth active badgers were scratching and boring holes in the hill side, all unhappy were the parrots, and the grave turtles squeaked out.'

There were probably sun dials on the top of the hill, and the `borogoves' were afraid that their nests of `raths', which ran out squeaking with fear on hearing the `toves' scratching outside. This is an obscure, but yet deeply-affecting, relic of ancient Poetry.

Croft 1855


SHE'S ALL MY FANCY PAINTED HIM
(This affecting fragment was found in MS. among the papers of the well-known author of `Was it You or I?' a tragedy, and the two popular novels, `Sister and Son', and `The Niece's Legacy, or the Grateful Grandfather'.)


SHE'S all my fancy painted him
(I make no idle boast);
If he or you had lost a limb,
Which would have suffered most?

He said that you had been to her,
And seen me here before;
But, in another character,
She was the same of yore.

There was not one that spoke to us,
Of all that thronged the street:
So he sadly got into a 'bus,
And pattered with his feet.

They sent him word I had not gone
(We know it to be true);
If she should push the matter on,
What would become of you?

They gave her one, they gave me two,
They gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.

If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.

It seemed to me that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle, that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.

Don't let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.


UPON THE LONELY MOOR

(1856)
(It is always interesting to ascertain the sources from which our great poets obtained their ideas: this motive has dictated the publication of the following: painful as its appearance must be to the admirers of Wordsworth and his poem of `Resolution and Independence'.)


I MET an aged, aged man
Upon the lonely moor:
I knew I was a gentleman,
And he was but a boor.
So I stopped and roughly questioned him,
`Come, tell me how you live!'
But his words impressed my ear no more
Than if it were a sieve.

He said, `I look for soap-bubbles,
That lie among the wheat,
And bake them into mutton-pies,
And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men,' he said,
`Who sail on stormy seas;
And that's the way I get my bread --
A trifle, if you please.'

But I was thinking of a way
To multiply by ten,
And always, in the answer, get
The question back again.
I did not hear a word he said,
But kicked that old man calm,
And said, `Come, tell me how you live!'
And pinched him in the arm.

His accents mild took up the tale:
He said, `I go my ways,
And when I find a mountain-rill,
I set it in a blaze.
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rowlands' Macassar Oil;
But fourpence-halfpenny is all
They give me for my toil.'

But I was thinking of a plan
To paint one's gaiters green,
So much the colour of the grass
That they could ne'er be seen.
I gave his ear a sudden box,
And questioned him again,
And tweaked his grey and reverend locks,
And put him into pain.

He said, `I hunt for haddocks' eyes
Among the heather bright,
And work them into waistcoat- buttons
In the silent night.
And these I do not sell for gold,
Or coin of silver-mine,
But for a copper-halfpenny,
And that will purchase nine.

`I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,
Or set limed twigs for crabs;
I sometimes search the flowery knolls
For wheels of hansom cabs.
And that's the way' (he gave a wink)
`I get my living here,
And very gladly will I drink
Your Honour's health in beer.'

I heard him then, for I had just
Completed my design
To keep the Menai bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine.
I duly thanked him, ere I went,
For all his stories queer,
But chiefly for his kind intent
To drink my health in beer.

And now if e'er by chance I put
My fingers into glue,
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe;
Or if a statement I aver
Of which I am not sure,
I think of that strange wanderer
Upon the lonely moor.


ANOTHER SONG FOR THE MOCK TURTLE

BENEATH the waters of the sea
Are lobsters thick as thick can be --
They love to dance with you and me,
My own, my gentle Salmon!


CHORUS

Salmon, come up! Salmon, go down!
Salmon, come twist your tail around!
Of all the fishes of the sea
There's none so good as Salmon!


PUZZLES FROM WONDERLAND

1.


DREAMING of apples on a wall,
And dreaming often, dear,
I dreamed that, if I counted all,
-- How many would appear?


2.


A stick I found that weighed two pound:
I sawed it up one day
In pieces eight of equal weight!
How much did each piece weigh?
(Everybody says `a quarter of a pound,' which is wrong.)


3.


John gave his brother James a box:
About it there were many locks.

James woke and said it gave him pain;
So gave it back to John again.

The box was not with lid supplied,
Yet caused two lids to open wide:

And all these locks had never a key --
What kind of a box, then, could it be?


4.


What is most like a bee in May?
`Well, let me think: perhaps --' you say.
Bravo! You're guessing well to-day!


5.


Three sisters at breakfast were feeding the cat,
The first gave it sole -- Puss was grateful for that:
The next gave it salmon -- which Puss thought a treat:
The third gave it herring -- which Puss wouldn't eat.
(Explain the conduct of the cat.)


6.


Said the Moon to the Sun,
`Is the daylight begun?'
Said the Sun to the Moon,
`Not a minute too soon.'

`You're a Full Moon,' said he.
She replied with a frown,
`Well! I never did see
So uncivil a clown!'
(Query. Why was the moon so angry?)


7.
WHEN the King found that his money was nearly all gone, and that he really must live more economically, he decided on sending away most of his Wise Men. There were some hundreds of them -- very fine old men, and magnificently dressed in green velvet gowns with gold buttons: if they had a fault, it was that they always contradicted one another when he asked for their advice -- and they certainly ate and drank enormously. So, on the whole, he was rather glad to get rid of them. But there was an old law, which he did not dare to disobey, which said that there must always be


`Seven blind of both eyes:
Two blind of one eye:
Four that see with both eyes:
Nine that see with one eye.'
(Query. How many did he keep?)
SOLUTIONS TO PUZZLES FROM WONDERLAND

1.


If ten the number dreamed of, why 'tis clear
That in the dream ten apples would appear.


2.


In Shylock's bargain for the flesh was found
No mention of the blood that flowed around:
So when the stick was sawed in eight,
The sawdust lost diminished from the weight.


3.


As curly-headed Jemmy was sleeping in bed,
His brother John gave him a blow on the head;
James opened his eyelids, and spying his brother,
Doubled his fist, and gave him another.
This kind of box then is not so rare;
The lids are the eyelids, the locks are the hair,
And so every schoolboy can tell to his cost,
The key to the tangles is constantly lost.


4.


'Twixt `Perhaps' and `May be'
Little difference we see:
Let the question go round,
The answer is found.


5.


That salmon and sole Puss should think very grand
Is no such remarkable thing.
For more of these dainties Puss took up her stand;
But when the third sister stretched out her fair hand
Pray why should Puss swallow her ring?


6.


`In these degenerate days,' we oft hear said,
`Manners are lost and chivalry is dead!'
No wonder, since in high exalted spheres
The same degeneracy, in fact, appears.
The Moon, in social matters interfering,
Scolded the Sun, when early in appearing;
And the rude Sun, her gentle sex ignoring,
Called her a fool, thus her pretensions flooring.


7.


Five seeing, and seven blind
Give us twelve, in all, we find;
But all of these, 'tis very plain,
Come into account again.
For take notice, it may be true,
That those blind of one eye are blind for two;
And consider contrariwise,
That to see with your eye you may have your eyes;
So setting one against the other --
For a mathematician no great bother --
And working the sum, you will understand
That sixteen wise men still trouble the land.
<bài viết được chỉnh sửa lúc 21.09.2005 14:58:12 bởi La Dameaux Camélias >
#1
    La Dameaux Camélias 21.09.2005 15:00:31 (permalink)
    Down the Rabbit Hole

    All in the golden afternoon
    Full leisurely we glide;
    For both our oars, with little skill,
    By little arms are plied,
    While little hands make vain pretence
    Our wanderings to guide.

    Ah, cruel Three! In such an hour,
    Beneath such dreamy weather,
    To beg a tale of breath too weak
    To stir the tiniest feather!
    Yet what can one poor voice avail
    Against three tongues together?

    Imperious Prima flashes forth
    Her edict `to begin it':
    In gentler tones Secunda hopes
    `There will be nonsense in it!'
    While Tertia interrupts the tale
    Not more than once a minute.

    Anon, to sudden silence won,
    In fancy they pursue
    The dream-child moving through a land
    Of wonders wild and new,
    In friendly chat with bird or beast--
    And half believe it true.

    And ever, as the story drained
    The wells of fancy dry,
    And faintly strove that weary one
    To put the subject by,
    `The rest next time--' `It is next time!'
    The happy voices cry.

    Thus grew the tale of Wonderland:
    Thus slowly, one by one,
    Its quaint events were hammered out--
    And now the tale is done,
    And home we steer, a merry crew,
    Beneath the setting sun.

    Alice! A childish story take,
    And, with a gentle hand,
    Lay it where Childhood's dreams are twined
    In Memory's mystic band.
    Like pilgrim's wither'd wreath of flowers
    Pluck'd in a far-off land.



    CHRISTMAS GREETINGS

    [FROM A FAIRY TO A CHILD]

    LADY dear, if Fairies may
    For a moment lay aside
    Cunning tricks and elfish play,
    'Tis at happy Christmas- tide.
    We have heard the children say--
    Gentle children, whom we love--
    Long ago, on Christmas Day,
    Came a message from above.

    Still, as Christmas-tide comes round,
    They remember it again--
    Echo still the joyful sound
    `Peace on earth, good-will to men!'

    Yet the hearts must child-like be
    Where such heavenly guests abide;
    Unto children, in their glee,
    All the year is Christmas-tide.

    Thus, forgetting tricks and play
    For a moment, Lady dear,
    We would wish you, if we may,
    Merry Christmas, glad New Year!



    Christmas, 1867

    DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE
    ALICE was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice, `without pictures or conversations?'

    So she was considering, in her own mind (as well as she could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

    There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!' (when she thought it over afterwards it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but, when the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

    In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.

    The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down what seemed to be a very deep well.

    Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her, and to wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything: then she looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with cupboards and bookshelves: here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed: it was labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE' but to her great disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar, for fear of killing somebody underneath, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.

    `Well!' thought Alice to herself. `After such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling down-stairs! How brave they'll all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely true.)

    Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to an end? `I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. `I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her lessons in the school-room, and though this was not a very good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes, that's about the right distance -- but then I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had not the slightest idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but she thought they were nice grand words to say.)

    Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downwards! The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad there was no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand? Or Australia?' (and she tried to curtsey as she spoke -- fancy, curtseying as you're falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'

    Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah, my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes `Do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and was saying to her, very earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

    Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead: before her was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.

    There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked: and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to get out again.

    Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass: there was nothing on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice's first idea was that this might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!

    Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the doorway; `and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

    There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it (`which certainly was not here before,' said Alice), and tied around the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large letters.

    It was all very well to say `Drink me', but the wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry. `No, I'll look first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked `poison' or not'; for she had read several nice little stories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, all because they would not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that, if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked `poison', it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.

    However, this bottle was not marked `poison', so Alice ventured to taste it, and, finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherrytart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast), she very soon finished it off.


    * * * *
    * * *
    * * * *
    `What a curious feeling!' said Alice. `I must be shutting up like a telescope!'

    And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle looks like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing.

    After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and cried.

    `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself rather sharply. `I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!'

    Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. `Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door: so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!'

    She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself `Which way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was growing; and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size. To be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake; but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

    So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.
    #2
      La Dameaux Camélias 21.09.2005 15:02:33 (permalink)
      The Pool of Tears

      `CURIOUSER and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English). `Now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good- bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure I sha'n't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you can -- but I must be kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they wo'n't walk the way I want to go! Let me see, I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.'

      And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. `They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the directions will look!


      Alice's Right Foot, Esq.
      Hearthrug,
      near the Fender,
      (with Alice's love).

      Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'

      Just at this moment her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was now rather more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

      Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again.

      `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool around her, about four inches deep, and reaching half down the hall.

      After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid-gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to himself, as he came, `Oh! The Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! Wo'n't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one: so, when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please, Sir --' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid-gloves and the fan, and scurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go.

      Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking. `Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual, I wonder if I've changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is "Who in the world am I?" Ah, that's the great puzzle!' And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them.

      `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I ca'n't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh, she knows such a very little! Besides, she's she, and I'm I, and -- oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen and four times seven is -- oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and Rome -- no, that's all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little --",' and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:


      `How doth the little crocodile
      Improve his shining tail,
      And pour the waters of the Nile
      On every golden scale!
      `How cheerfully he seems to grin,
      How neatly spreads his claws,
      And welcomes little fishes in,
      With gently smiling jaws!'

      `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh, ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it: if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up and say "Who am I, then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else" -- but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they would put their heads down! I am so very tired of being all alone here!'

      As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid-gloves while she was talking. `How can I have done that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself from shrinking away altogether.

      `That was a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence. `And now for the garden!' And she ran with all speed back to the little door; but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child, `for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare it's too bad, that it is!'

      As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt-water. Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general conclusion that wherever you go to on the English coast, you find a number of bathing-machines in the sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging-houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine feet high.

      `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That will be a queer thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.'

      Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse, that had slipped in like herself.

      `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having seen, in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse -- of a mouse -- to a mouse -- a mouse -- O mouse!') The mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, but it said nothing.

      `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice. `I daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she began again: `Où est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'

      `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse in a shrill, passionate voice. `Would you like cats, if you were me?'
      `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah. I think you'd take a fancy to cats, if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face -- and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse -- and she's such a capital one for catching mice -- oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any more if you'd rather not.'

      `We, indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of its tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always hated cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!'

      `I wo'n't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of conversation. `Are you -- are you fond -- of -- of dogs?' The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is such a nice little dog, near our house, I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things -- I ca'n't remember half of them -- and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats and -- oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful tone. `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

      So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we wo'n't talk about cats, or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said, in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'

      It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there was a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the shore.
      #3
        La Dameaux Camélias 21.09.2005 15:07:26 (permalink)
        A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

        THEY were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank -- the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.

        The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, `I'm older than you, and must know better.' And this Alice would not allow, without knowing how old it was, and as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said.

        At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of some authority among them, called out `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'll soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.

        `Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air. `Are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria --"'

        `Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.

        `I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely. `Did you speak?'

        `Not I!' said the Lory, hastily.

        `I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him; and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable --"

        `Found what?' said the Duck.

        `Found it,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you know what "it" means.'

        `I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the Duck: `it's generally a frog, or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?'

        The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, `"-- found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans --" How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.

        `As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't seem to dry me at all.'

        `In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies --'

        `Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.

        `What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, `was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'

        `What is a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she much wanted to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that somebody ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

        `Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)
        First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One, two, three, and away!' but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking `But who has won?'

        This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it stood for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said `Everybody has won, and all must have prizes.'

        `But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked.

        `Why, she, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out, in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'

        Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily the salt-water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one a-piece, all round.

        `But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.

        `Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have you got in your pocket?' it went on, turning to Alice.

        `Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.

        `Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.

        Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered.

        Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could.

        The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

        `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, `and why it is you hate -- C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be offended again.

        `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.

        `It is a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like this:

        "Fury said to
        a mouse, That
        he met in the
        house, `Let
        us both go
        to law: I
        will
        prose-
        cute you.
        Come, I'll
        take no de-
        nial; We
        must have
        a trial:
        For really
        this morn-
        ing I've
        nothing
        to do.'
        Said the
        mouse to
        the cur,
        `Such a
        trial, dear
        Sir, With
        no jury
        or judge,
        would
        be wast-
        ing our
        breath.'
        `I'll be
        judge,
        I'll be
        jury,'
        Said
        cun-
        ning
        old
        Fury:
        `I'll
        try
        the
        whole
        cause,
        and
        con-
        demn
        you to
        death:"
        `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice, severely. `What are you thinking of?'

        `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to the fifth bend, I think?'

        `I had not!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.

        `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'

        `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'

        `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily offended, you know!'

        The Mouse only growled in reply.

        `Please come back, and finish your story!' Alice called after it. And the others all joined in chorus `Yes, please do!' But the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker.

        `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite out of sight. And an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose your temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!'

        `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!'

        `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the Lory.

        Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice, you ca'n't think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!'

        This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking `I really must be getting home: the night- air doesn't suit my throat!' And a Canary called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.

        `I wish I hadn't mentïoned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story.
        #4
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